Friday 20 August 2010

Serenity

Submerged in your ocean like eyes
A comfort takes hold
Calms every inch of my body
I begin to drown with no desire to be saved
A feeling of complete serenity washes over me
Drags me deeper holds me under
I will not fight
I will not struggle
Against the serenity usually so hard to find and feel.

© Ann Dempsey 2010

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Serenity by Ann Dempsey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

Wednesday 18 August 2010

Untitled 1

Breathed her in and never want to exhale
For fear of letting out her essence
It fills my lungs
Is carried around my organs
In my now excited blood cells
Filling me with a feeling
So intense and yet so soothing.

© Ann Dempsey 2010

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Untitled 1 by Ann Dempsey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

Friday 13 August 2010

Grandpa

Its is 8 years today since my Grandpa died so I thought I would share with you something I wrote just after he passed on.

I wasn’t there the day you left
I was alone in a strange place
But I knew when it happened
She held your hand
As you slipped away
You knew it was time

You are missed
She cried each night
She carries you in her heart
And will till her time

Wherever she goes
She knows you are there
Right by her side
Ready to guide

I respected you
I looked up to you
But you were her rock
Her light in the dark

She knew when to stop
Oh you and your look
But never will you be forgotten
And pushed to the bottom
We know you are there
Just watching and waiting.

© Ann Dempsey 2002

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Grandpa by Ann Dempsey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

Wednesday 11 August 2010

Scars

The scars don’t show at first the wound must heal to begin with. Then the process begins you forget why the scar is there or why the initial wound was created was it just a moment of temporary madness then you begin to wonder why you would deliberately hurt yourself scarring your skin for life just because of maybe what seemed like a very large problem at the time but turned out to be very much pointless in the grand scheme of things.

How do people survive is it an inbuilt survival technique maybe but then some would argue what about suicide? What happens to survival then?

Maybe it is just accidental a way of release gone wrong or overwhelming depression and only one way to escape.

Being in love and powerless to do anything about it is a very strange feeling.
Its as if you are stuck in a hole a never-ending hole a black hole maybe.
You try to say its all ok when you know that you are being eaten inside and taken over by this parasite called love.

But love is not always a parasite it can also be like a flourishing flower beautiful in everyway eventually maybe you will find this flower and guide it to full growth and help it on its way to being healthy and prosperous, but when will we all find this the answer is one we will only know at the time hopefully I say this will be soon so many decoys in the way so many mistakes to be made and less triumphs for me along the way I just pray I have the strength to see it through unlike so many others who just give up I will never give up on finding the one thing everyone needs in life Love.

© Ann Dempsey 2003

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Scars by Ann Dempsey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

Tuesday 10 August 2010

Trapped

I am lost scared alone,
Trapped inside myself,
Clouds of black cover my heart,
Tears of all emotions flood my eyes,
Head swamped with pain,


Why have I been abandoned?
Stranded in this place of fear,
Darkness washes over me,
Light fades quickly,
Can no one save me?


Where is my rescue vessel?
Where is my salvation?
Can I help myself?
This pain I have created,
Can I stop my pain? My anger?


Bitterness is taking over,
This life becoming tainted,
Hatred all around me,
Can anyone save me from myself?
Love has to break me free!


Hear the voice of someone close,
Begging, Pleading, come home to me,
With all my might I try to get back to the real world,
Cant you just pull me free,
Don’t leave me when I need you most.

© Ann Dempsey 2005

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Trapped by Ann Dempsey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.

Thursday 5 August 2010

A random rant about youth work

I wrote this when I was doing my foundation degree in youth work just for myself really I wanted to have a rant lol. I dont know how accurate it is its just my own opinion on what was happening around me at the time!


What is it that we are teaching young people in this day and age? I realised something the other day, I would never have become involved with the youth services I received had it not have been for the fact my mother is disabled, or later on, the fact that I was hanging around at the park with nothing better to do, than hang around with the people who loved to cause bother to people in the area.

These days youth work doesn’t seem to be allowed to work with ALL young people it seems to be almost completely focused on those young people who are ‘at risk’ ‘troubled’ I’m sorry correct me if I am wrong but is it not true that all young people are troubled in some way or another? Puberty is hardly the easiest of life stages nor is adolescence the easiest thing to deal with; are we adults yet? or are we still kids? Can I do this or am I too old or too young? There are endless amounts of these questions that young people ask themselves everyday.

With the introduction of these government papers every child matters and youth matters, it is putting structure into youth work but at what cost, youth groups and projects cannot get the funding they need unless they attract the right percentages of young people each day, month, and year! I know for a fact that at least one person I know works in a project that will not get funding unless they get an increase in newspaper appearances! How stupid is that? Why should the work that workers do have to be publicised, what if the work that needs to be done is of a sensitive nature surely the young people don’t want attention always drawn to them in any case.

Is this how youth work should be conducted, surely all young people have the right to access youth services without having to first get themselves into some sort of trouble, are we not teaching young people that to receive help they must first be seen in a bad light. Where did the idea that young people can just drop into a youth centre and ask for some advice or join in with some activities go? Now each session conducted with a group of young people has to have some kind of objective be it healthy eating, safe sex etc.

I remember when I was at secondary school I was in top set for most of my subjects and I did all my work and turned up to probably almost every lesson but those who were in the lower sets and caused all the disruptions didn’t do their work and didn’t turn up were sent off one or two days a week to college to do something there; painting and decorating even days off to outdoor activity places, to me they were having all the fun while I was sat in my lessons slaving away on ridiculous amounts of coursework. They were rewarded with merits for turning up on time or turning up at all, they received prizes if you like for correcting their bad behaviour when in fact in many cases some of these guys were my friends and they hadn’t corrected anything they just learnt how to play the game hide the fact that they really didn’t care or want to be there they just knew they would get a lot more special treatment if they did what they thought everyone else needed to see.

What did my friends and I in the higher sets and us who were well behaved all the time what did we get, nothing really we got our GCSE’s at the end of year eleven, awards evening came and only those who really highly achieved got an award or those who had shown progress etc got awards for effort us in the middle we just got a well done and that was that, but we worked just as hard as everyone else we worked like mad to get our grades but were given no recognition, other than the recognition we gave ourselves I guess.


We need to get to a balance where every young person no matter how well they work or how poorly they work, they all get the same attention from services in place for them if the services are not there for all young people how can it be generalised as youth work, it should be called working with ‘troublesome’ youths? Or ‘at risk young people’

All young people deserve the same attention different attentions yes but none the less they need something at some point usually.
The point here is that society, government today is moaning about anti social behaviour but young people see that they need to act like that in order to gain the attention from services that at one point were there for everyone to access now they need to be ‘disruptive’ or in some kind of so called problem area or targeted group to access it. Logically what would you do to get the service you needed…. Would you not just try to slot yourself into a group that would be catered for if you needed that service?

© Ann Dempsey 2008


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A random rant about youth work by Ann Dempsey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.
 
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the deepening tides of my mind and soul by Ann Dempsey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 2.0 UK: England & Wales License.