Something has to give thats what is said in times of trouble, but I wonder why is it always the good things that give, why can't the trouble give way for happiness?
I feel as if I am the one in trouble for the actions of other people, I know I am not in trouble not hated, and yet still I feel helpless to do anything to resolve the issues for fear that the minute I do, something else will come along and destroy it.
I want to start again but I am not allowed, this frustrates me I understand all reasonings for decisions that have been made, but why then does this understanding not make me feel better? I am a fighter maybe that is my problem I want something and I want to fight for it but what do you do when you cannot fight, because if you fight you will just be cut off at every angle?
If it were me that had caused all this drama in the first place I would bow down admit my wrong doings and let it lie, but I did not cause this and I am taking the fall for someone elses wrong doings. Oh I do not know anymore I write these musings down to try and clear my thoughts lets hope that time will have pity upon me.
© Ann Dempsey 2011
Tuesday 26 July 2011
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